Lead Yourself First! (“LYF Leadership”)

You’re the boss. Congratulations!

You’ve done a great job, at your job, whether as a startup founder or mailroom-to-executive success story. That’s great news.

Here’s the bad news: now the real work begins.

As I was dismayed to learn upon attaining the rank of black belt in a traditional Japanese dojo, all your hard work up to now has merely brought you to the starting point.

The real work is within

Technique is important for both managers and martial artists. The TTPs, or “tactics, techniques, and procedures“ we use in the SEAL Teams, are the bread and butter of successful missions.

But while every newly minted, hairy-chested frogman is expert at all those technical skills, it is the graybeards who are trusted to decide where and when and how the SEAL platoon will apply them.

You’ll hear the term “seasoned“ to distinguish leaders with some miles under their belts. Those miles are not covered in the classroom, but only in the real world.

You become seasoned when you try and fail and learn.

Beyond “The Art of War”

The game for you now, here in the masters’ circle, is SELF mastery — not just more technician work.

Every business decision, like every military operation, is unique.

EVERY decision of consequence demands adaptability.

Adaptability requires versatility.

Versatility is learned through experience.

Again: try and fail and learn.

Repeat until dead.

Bonus Round: Besides forging you into the best leader possible for the mission and people you serve, honoring this mindset will inevitably end in a life well lived.

You are complex

This work is an “inside job“ because no matter your title, your office position, or the number of humans to report to you, you are in the end utterly powerless.

…Over others, that is.

And here’s more good news: NOBODY in the world controls YOU … except you.

This is the paradox of power.

You lead others by how well you manage yourself — your personal integrity, your communication skills, your self-discipline as an example for others.

When you lead yourself first, you become worthy of being followed by great teams.

Now let’s talk about exactly what “your Power” really is

As a human being, you have four integral aspects: Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul.

The Physical, the Mental, the Emotional, and the Spiritual / Ethical.

Like it or not, understand it or not, these are the ingredients of you. And me. And everyone.

THE BODY — You are “more than meat”…but the Body carries everything else, so take care of it!

Because everything affects everything, you will diminish your Mental and Emotional capacities if you are not generally fit and well. How well do you perform on an exam with a toothache or a hangover?

THE MIND — When you are physically fit and well, your Mind is free to do its work. If you don’t train and maintain it, though, it too will not operate at its full capacity.

You need to be mindful to exercise your brainpower — this is about much more than school! Curiosity, respectful debate, pondering, stimulating activities, letting your mind wander…all of these and more are essential to an active, growing, and functional Mind.

And this is important because, as you read above…everything affects everything. Like the Heart. How do you feel when you can’t quite make sense of something important and people are depending on you to figure it out?

THE HEART — Face it, fellas: emotions aren’t just for girls anymore. In fact they never have been, despite the “strong, silent type” ideals of our early media and many other cultures. The cowboy saves the day and rides off into the sunset, unable or unwilling to acknowledge that relationships take work, and sticking around to do that work — contributing to something more meaningful — is much more heroic than killing a couple bad guys before running away.

As I wrote in the introduction to my first book, Powerful Peace: A Navy SEAL’s Lessons on Peace from a Lifetime at War, “Yes, big boys and big girls do cry. It is only the incomplete woman, the frightened man, who cannot release that most basic human expression.”

Leaders with Emotional Intelligence are the finest possible. Great leadership requires great capacity for empathy, compassion, and self-awareness.

And finally….

THE SOUL — Don’t get wrapped around the axle on this one. I’m not trying to convert you to my faith, or to any faith at all. Here we’re talking about that very real component of being a person, the spirit, which is distinct from Mind and Heart.

Your Soul is your conscience, your sub-conscious knowledge of right and wrong, the Jiminy Cricket sitting on your shoulder and telling you to go to school like Geppetto said so you won’t be taken in by a cartoon wolf and turn into a donkey.

It probably won’t surprise you that keeping your promises is good business practice.

And then, finally-finally….

THE “DONE ZONE” — I tricked you a little, fellow leader, by suggesting that there are only four “Human Powers.” That’s because this fifth one is NOT organic, not integral to the life you were born with, but optional

You only have to set Healthy Boundaries, this power of Leadership, if you want to have a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Prefer to remain a drone, following orders and making excuses because you prefer to believe others can “make” you do things you don’t like? Forget about boundaries. You’ll get all the bosses telling you what to do that you can handle.

They will serve their own interests, their own fortunes, and their own needs while you neglect yours.

We’ve told you more about this Done Zone, healthy boundaries, in past Impact Actual articles and courses and podcasts. For now, suffice it to say that when you learn to “Say No, More” you will be super-charging your capacity to invest time, energy, and team in the Yeses that will move your home, your work, and your self to greater heights.

Bringing it all together

You are a Leader. Congratulations again.

This is a much, much bigger deal than what title you hold.

This is about how you will change the world.

You cannot force or manipulate great results. You cannot control anyone other than yourself.

But you can inspire others by your example, they can follow your lead, and you can all marvel at the surprisingly unlimited results that will come.

You can learn to develop and balance your own five “super powers,” teaching your team to develop and align theirs, and live a life of incredible satisfaction and yes, joy.

Lead Yourself First.

Everything else will follow.

(This is only the tip of the LYF iceberg. Join us in the High Impact Tribe community to learn and engage with like-minded leaders. Or are you ready to learn more, more intensely, directly from me and the Impact Actual team? Book a no-cost private Mission Planning call with me and we’ll explore the best customized solutions to your specific needs, from online courses to one-on-one Impact Coaching.)