On Grrl Power and Unmanly Men

A non-PC public service announcement from the founder of Impact Actual on the issue of grrl power and unmanly men:
Ladies, please stop settling for manchilds. Guys, stop being them. Males will always rise OR FALL to the level demanded of them. It’s part of our makeup. Knowing that with their smaller stature they can’t rely on brute strength alone, females get mature and stay more or less sensible from an early age. We, on the other hand, usually respond to the needs of the environment because we love to leap into action and make heroic gestures…but don’t care much for the discipline of day-to-day maintenance.
Exhibit A: According to ABC News, an estimated 200,000 underage volunteers “ran” to enlist during World War II. (Fun fact: Gene Hackman was one of those. Thank him if you see him.)
Exhibit B: the CDC this year released findings that “Obesity now affects 1 in 6 children and adolescents in the United States” (a period during which we have no pressing national peril calling all young men to rise).
Contemporary ease and comfort has a subtle dark side. Untested, we don’t realize our potential. The current trend of ladies thinking they have to settle for soft males weakens the entire pool…thus making things worse for males who don’t challenge themselves AND for all the women looking for real men. We all lose when we passively conspire to passivity.
Do I mean all guys should be belching, sweat stained Neanderthals? Get real. True strength has nothing to do with biceps. It sits watching vigilantly in the mind, and burns in the heart. We must have door kickers, yes — and we also must have friendly grocers and gentle poets and quirky professors. If he has strength, you’ll see it in his eyes…not his physique.
Here’s the good news, guys: it’s your birthright. You don’t have to go somewhere or take a course and “get strong”…it’s sitting inside you right now and has always been there. You just have to seize it. You were born to protect. Now live it.
And if you look in a man’s eyes and see strength, say something. If you’re his partner, admire him a little for it. Tell him, and thank him for making you feel safe. Nothing else so inspires the hero’s heart.


    On the Orlando Massacre

    I was called an LGBT Ally for my writing on dignity and respect before I knew what LGBT was. I don’t give a shit who you love. That’s your business, and I appreciate people staying out of mine.
    What I do care about is security and the general well-being. For much of my career I lived among populations where going out after dark invites rape, kidnapping, or murder. Where families do NOT lie down at night in confidence they’ll be safe until the morning.
    Where “I got lucky at the club” meant escaping a massacre, not “getting laid”….
    In my years abroad I’ve tried hard to help those societies become more like ours in the domain of security. Now, however, we see an instance of ours becoming like “theirs.” And that’s precisely what the hate-driven followers of jihad want. They believe violence is the path to power, and they do want power. Don’t be fooled by talk of God. They want fear, because fear is the easy way to influence. They want to use fear because inside they’re twisted, squirming, fearful, impotent little worms. They have nothing legitimate to use. They depend on “terrorizing” victims of their power grab, and so we call them terrorists.
    Want to know how we can help them? By calling gays fags. Or blacks niggers. Or whites crackers. If there was any doubt in your mind that all of our society is in the crosshairs of these fearful little impotent worms, I hope last night woke your ass up.
    DIVISION is the best thing we can practice to help jihadis spread their spectacle and build toward the attainment of actual power. You’re free to keep celebrating it, if you like. Keep putting advertising dollars into the TV talk shows where guests’ fists fly and the host pretends to try and stop the fight while he mentally converts ratings to profits. Keep calling the “other side” traitors, and idiots, and whatever inaccurate small insults you can dream up to avoid confronting and discussing the real issues like real adults.
    As long as we do what the jihadis want and divide among ourselves, we’re guaranteed to not invest our material and mental capital into legitimate, practical solutions to problems we all see. What we don’t see is that we’re part of the problem when we don’t focus on the fixes. Here’s a spoiler: the fixes do not involve banning all Muslims OR all guns. We’re morons for entertaining either notion.
    You’ll have to try to forget that our country has the word “United” right there in its name. We could talk to each other with civility, and disagree with respect. We could each sacrifice a little of what we want in service to what We Need. We could work toward actual national security without exaggerations of policy that work against our national safety. But I wonder when we will.